Tim is Home from Afghanistan

When you were just a boy of 5
I left to start my adult life
Off to college I went
Before I left, you tugged my sleeve, and said
"You can't go. You're the other mom."
"Sorry Timmy. I'll miss you, but I must go."

Then we reversed roles
Last summer as a man of 24
You journeyed to Afghanistan
To serve your country and your fellow man
Before you left, I hugged you close, and said
"Please be safe, Tim. This is could mean your life."

Now, hallelujah!
You’ve safely left the strife
I celebrate that blessing
But never forget your comrades
Who didn’t come back
Who don’t have their lives

With each day
I know you will find
A little bit of peace
And a different meaning to your life
So please be kind to yourself
And know your fortitude amazes big sis Jen

As you reintegrate
And process all your experiences
Without the filter of war
Remember it is one day at a time
One memory at a time
And ask for help as you need it

I’m one phone call away
Always available to you
Very unlike the hills and mountains
You climbed up and down there
Never forget that I want you to know
How proud I am of you and the man you’ve become

Good to See You

My brother, Tim, appears in this video at the 3:57 mark:

Timmy Celebration

We all got together with Tim for a family dinner before he ships out to Afghanistan sometime next month.

Happy Birthday Tim!

Today, my brother, Tim, turned 24 years young. I miss him very much. He is currently stationed at Fort Bragg in North Carolina, where his unit, the 82nd Airborne, is preparing for their upcoming deployment to Afghanistan later this year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMMY! I love you and miss you.

A Soldier Home for a Visit

Just a Boy

When he was just a boy of 5
I left to start my adult life
Off to college I went
Before I left, he tugged my sleeve, and said
"You can't go. You're like the other mom."
"Sorry Timmy. I'll miss you, but I must go."
Now we've reversed roles
This summer as a man of 23
He left to join the Army
To have a purpose and mission in life
Before he left, I hugged him close, and said
"Are you sure Tim? This is could mean your life."
His Airborne training now is complete
He has landed safely on his feet
A deployment is not far off
He'll leave to serve
But before he goes
I want him to know
How proud I am of him and the man he's become

Miss you Timmy

I miss you Timmy. I know you've grown up and are a man, but you'll always be loved by your big sister.

If telepathy exists, know that I'm sending good thoughts and vibes that will help you during your Infantry training.

Perhaps

The chairs were scattered across the patio, and the table umbrella was open to shade us from the hot sun. The refrigerator was full of picnic foods, and my family members were about to arrive.

We had been leading up to this day for nearly three weeks now, and the anticipation had been building. Today was the last day before Tim left for Basic Training. Would this be one of the last wonderful memories we would have? What would it be like to have a brother in the Army Infantry? What will become of him? Where will he end up? Iraq? Afghanistan?





All of these thoughts flooded my brain as I went about the normal preparations for a backyard party. I felt distracted, and conflicted. I'm incredibly proud of my precious brother, but yet, I'm decidedly fearful of his new found choice. Perhaps that is my own fear? Tim is entirely resolute in his decision. Perhaps I need to remember that?

My parents became adults during the Vietnam-era, and those times were etched into their memories. It influenced their upbringing of me and my siblings. My mother's high school boyfriend died in Vietnam during his second tour. His helicopter was shot down. Mom later met my dad, and he joined the National Guard in an effort to control some of his own destiny. His draft number would have sent him directly to Vietnam. Perhaps my parents' influence is what puts me in fear of having a brother as a soldier?

Dad was a soldier, though. He served in the Army Reserves for seven years. Why can't I get past this? Perhaps it is because of what my father described of his years of service? I'm not sure why I'm so conflicted? Perhaps it is because Tim's future seems so uncertain to me? His safety will not be secure. Having two children with Alpha-1 has shown me how incredibly fragile life is. Why would Tim choose to put his life in danger on purpose? Some would say he is incredibly brave or patriotic. I know he is brave, but he is also my dear baby brother patriotic or not.

My fears kept drifting in and out as I prepared for the picnic. As my two brothers and two sisters arrived, we began the party just like any normal family gathering except that this was a send off party for Tim. Mom had flown in from California. Dad and his wife stayed home, but would be in town tomorrow. I was disappointed we all couldn't be together. I just wanted one more time with my entire family. For me, it was important to show Tim that we were united in our support of him.



It was a beautiful day. Flowers decorated my yard. Dragonflies and butterflies flitted and hovered about. But what made this day so glowingly beautiful is how I felt in my heart. The girls played with their cousins. My mom told stories. Charlie and Bob played a lawn game. We ate good food. My siblings and I teased "Timmy" as we have done for years.

"Timmy, you're in the Army now!"

With a Cheshire grin on his face, Matt asked, "Tim, so are you going to call me a civilian now? Cuz if you are, I'm going to open up a can of civilian whoop arse on ya." We all giggled in response. For me, it was a nervous giggle. I wondered if anyone else felt as I did.





Grace pulled me to the side and whispered, "Mom, is Timmy going to die?"

"Grace, I don't think we should think that way. We need to know that God is going to take care of Timmy. We need to believe that God will do what is best for Timmy. We need to believe that Timmy will be safe. Can you do that? It is important to keep good thoughts for Timmy."

Meghan overheard our conversation and joined in with, "Yeah, Grace. God is always in our hearts. He is in Timmy's heart." My eyes pooled with tears as she said that. How could my 4 year old have figured this out so well? Meghan is so much more enlightened than me using an adult's logic. Tim serves as her Godfather, and I think Meghan is connected to his soul in a different way than I am. Perhaps God was speaking through Meghan? My love for Tim often blinds me.

We enjoyed the day, and I didn't want it to come to an end. My daily life calls me back to the routine, but I resist in writing this entry. I soak up the moments, hoping this won't be the last of our whole family get togethers for quite a long time.

A Soldier

Words are not coming to me tonight. Emotions prevail right now.

I waffle between fear and tears, but at the same time have an immense amount of pride.

My 23 year old baby brother, Tim, enlisted in the Army Infantry today. He will be in for a little over 4 years, and has qualified to learn airborn (i.e. jumping out of airplanes). From the day he was born when I was 12, he has always sought out the military. I've got a ton of pictures of him pretending to be John Rambo. I'm surprised he waited this long, but here we are today. He is leaving for Fort Benning in Georgia on 7/15.



As much as I'm proud of Tim, I also terrified for him. He is after all my baby brother, and I love him with a very large heart. I pray he will be safe, and I'm pretty teary eyed right now.

So if you could spare prayers and positive thoughts for him from now on, please keep him in your prayers. Tim is such a good man, and he wholeheartedly believes in this life changing decision.

I guess I'm not ready to be the sister of an enlisted man. I've had such a mother-like role with him and all I want to do is protect him. Of course, that won't be possible when he may be so far away.

Thanks for thinking of him. He won't be put into active duty until sometime in November after his training is completed.

I've got a soldier for a brother now.