Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Want to run...

Wow...

Charlie found out that one of his students is here today so he went to visit him for a moment.

As I'm sitting here with Gracie, I'm having a hard time keeping it together. Post traumatic stress surrounding my past health issues as well as the girls' prematurity/Alpha-1 is giving me the sensation to run...run as far away as possible. This is such a conflicting sensation for me because I also have an intense need to shelter Grace right now.

I guess this blog is my outlet right now. Sorry if I ramble.

Grace is resting comfortably, but she is not eating or drinking as well as they'd like her to...so now, I'm pushy mama, and Char is pushy dada. "Gracie, you've got to drink this. You can't have your medicine without something in your tummy." This really reminds me of NICU where we were patiently waiting for her to learn how to eat so she could finally go home.

Earlier today before her surgery, I had a very vivid memory of seeing her for the first time in the operating room when she was born. It was almost startling to me how vivid it was. I guess the sights, sounds, and smells of the area outside of the OR brought it back. Of course, it brought tears to my eyes remembering her precious little face that day. She is our miracle girl.

Thanks for your positive thoughts and prayers.

4 comments:

Tante said...

It is just amazing how far Grace has come. She just seems so much mature right now. I know she is only 6, but I think she is handling it very well. I know that I am a big baby when I have surgery. Hailey can't wait to play with her again (well maybe it is more the elephant, than Gracie? Thanks Grandpa Sandy)
Grace will be out in no time.

Amy said...

Glad everything went well. Hang in there Jen. Let me know what I can do to help. Amy

noreen said...

Good to see that Gracie is doing great. Take time to rest. Home is right around the corner and everything will be back to normal soon (whatever normal is). Ice cream with sprinkles may be in order.

Childlife said...

Oh, I know what you mean about the flashbacks -- they are so hard! You are one strong mommy, Jen!